Another Wasted Sunday Afternoon - lyrics

1 Worcester Ave
2 John's Vacuum Cleaner
3 Time is Tight
4 Invertebrates
5 People Laugh at Me
6 Emma
7 His Master's Voice
8 Gillian is Normal
9 Disillusion
10 Electronic Music
11 Armchair Politics
12 Peter Paints His Fence [instrumental]
13 Scared to be Alone
14 When the Pubs Close
15 So It's Come to This
16 New Muzak
17 No Identifiable Signs of Life
18 Nice Job for the Lad
19 Short Haired Man
20 Vacant Possession
21 Drunk in Woolwich
22 High Steppin Momma
23 Milton Keynes
24 Violence
25 Laburnum Walk
26 InterCity 125

lyrics to dozens more songs (and much more) at the Instant Automatons website

Armchair Politics
Act One Scene One: High-rise Hell
The lifts don't work and the stairs always smell
Where the plonkies piss and the children play
And your neighbours never have anything to say
An old woman on the fifth floor has been dead for nine days
In High-rise Hell

Act One Scene Two: County Hall
The councillors don't seem to care at all
From High-rise Hell complaints come in
They're read through once then thrown in the bin
Hey, rate-payer, you cannot win
At County Hall

The man in the critic's hat shows me to the door
He says, "This has all been done before
And so much better than you do it today
So take your recordings and go away."

Armchair politicians have all the answers
To Northern Ireland and the Middle East
While mum and dad watch the news on the telly
The kids are making petrol bombs in the back yard
And we're all gonna change the world tomorrow
If we haven't changed the world by the end of today

Act One Scene Three: Grand Finale
High-rise Hell burning to the ground
Citizens march on County Hall
But councillors have fled to a secret bunker
And they'll return when it's all blown over
There are no easy answers
But we're all gonna change the world tomorrow
If we haven't changed the world by the end of today

Disillusion
I don't believe in hate and I don't believe in love
I don't believe in war and I don't believe in god above
I don't believe in life and I don't believe in hell
Sometimes I don't even believe in myself
I don't believe in truth and I don't believe in guilt
And I don't believe in the blood that was spilt
To make this country a freer place
Coz the way things are going, that blood was wasted
Bureaucracy will get to you no matter where you are
At home, or walking in the street, or driving in your car
Insurances and licences and income tax returns
Throw them on the fire with the final demands and watch them burn
The politician's smile is bright, his heart is sooty-black
You raise him up to power and he stabs you in the back
He's giving to the rich what he's stealing from the poor
And I don't think I'll believe in anything anymore

Drunk In Woolwich (On New Year's Eve)
I can remember the good old days
Terribly depressed in many ways
Margaret's on TV with a banana in her hand
And all the world together disbands
Well, anyway I switched off the television
Bands, boredom, culture fission
The Sindy doll lasts forever on
I see a bookcase full of encyclopaedias -- I pick out one
New sentence, new words, stop, stop, start again
And the feelings just remain
Once upon a time I was in love
Taxi drivers and busmen wailing below and above
I just had to waste my time
I wrote a song but it didn't rhyme
This is, this is not, the end just yet
Just the views of a religious sect
Oh my god, my head's exploding
And the world is terminating
And I'm drunk in Woolwich on New Year's Eve
Drunk in Woolwich on New Year's Eve

Electronic Music (excerpt)
Electronic music is the opium of the people
Electronic music makes you weak and flabby
Electronic music causes brain damage
Makes you unfit
Unable to fight for your country
In times of trouble
Electronic music
Electronic music
Curse of the working classes
(repeat above phrases ad lib)

Emma
Your skirt is long, your hair is short
Emma
You've never had a single thought
Emma
Although you seem to strive in vain
You always know you'll reach your aim
Emma
Now the night is dark and still
Emma
Balanced on your windowsill
Emma
Now you're safely tucked in bed
Flashing lights inside your head
Emma
Stand and watch the rain fall
Emma
Through the window pane falls
Emma
Emma's playing with her toys
Emma's playing with the boys
Emma
You scream and split the night in two
Emma
Although you know it was not you
Emma
Some people gather round to stare
As music fills the midnight air
Emma
The moon is shining in the sky
Emma
Close your eyes and you'll get by
Emma
Though you waited much too long
You finally got into a song
Emma
Emma
EMMA!

Gillian Is Normal
Gillian is normal
She lives on her own
She's got a flat in the city
She's got a grey telephone
Gillian does not take drugs
She does not go insane
She does not try to kill herself
She is immune to pain
Gillian is normal (x 3)

She was born in Barnsley
But her father came from France
She does not have twelve fingers
She did not learn to dance
She goes to the cinema on Friday
And thinks she is Clark Gable
She keeps a magic monkey's paw
In a drawer in the kitchen table
Gillian is normall (x 3)

Boyfriends line up at her door
The queue stretches down the street
But Gillian is not interested
She tends not to eat meat
She watches television
Crossroads and News At Ten
And if she turns the sound down
There is no difference between them
Gillian is normal (x 3)

A million housewives every day
Put down their tins of beans and say,
"Thank god everyone's normal
Thank god everyone's normal
Thank god everyone's normal
These days

High Steppin' Momma (words by Lurch)

Chorus:
High steppin' momma
You broke my ballet shoes
High steppin' momma
You broke my ballet shoes
You stole my violin
And now I've got nothing to lose

Well it was back in 1965
When the world was full of joy
I was feeling glad to be alive
And I loved every girl and boy
But you, oh lady, were something else
That I took for a special toy
(You were a high steppin' momma...)

Sixteen years have been and gone
But I still remember you
Been going downhill since then
And there's nothing I can do
Cos I gave you all my loving heart
And you bled it through and through
(You were a high steppin' momma...)

Then you left me for another man
Didn't even say goodbye
Left me to survive the best I can
But all I could do was cry
Then you turned around and laughed at me
And I can only wonder why
(You were a high steppin' momma...)

One of these days I'll get me a gun
And go hunting in the street
I'll look for you and that mangy son
And I'll kill you when we meet
Then I'll turn the gun on myself
Cos my ruin will be complete
(You were a high steppin' momma...)

His Master's Voice
Woke up this morning
The bailiff was on my step
Woke up this morning
Wrote the man a cheque
He was gonna take away my hi-fi
Because I was in debt
Sent off a blank tape
To an address I saw in sounds
Sent off a blank tape
For music of the underground
I got 60 minutes of subway trains
But it makes a great background
Went down to the city
To get a record I want
Went down to the city
I saw the National Front
Slogans daubed on the walls
But it ain't my scene
I found me a bootleg
Recorded live in the U S of A
I found me a bootleg
No royalties does it pay
Cost me round about a tenner
But it's something to play
Suicide for breakfast
A twisted mind at work
Suicide for breakfast
Your feelings soon desert
Hang yourself in the kitchen
You don't care who you hurt

InterCity 125
I'm gonna lay my head
On that lonesome railroad line
I'm gonna lay my head
On that lonesome railroad line
I'm gonna let that InterCity 125
Pacify my worried mind
I hear the train a-coming now
Driver, do not slow your speed
I hear the train a-coming now
Driver, do not slow your speed
Let your InterCity 125
Do away with me
There's no jobs left around here,
No work to be done
There's no jobs left around here,
No work to be done
And begging on the streets
Ain't no kind of life for anyone
Since you left me, baby
My life ain't worth living - it's true
Since you left me, baby
My life ain't worth living - it's true
And dole money can't buy me
Enough booze to forget you
So take my body
Bury me under six foot of clay
Take my body
Bury me under six foot of clay
Let that InterCity 125
Carry my soul away

Invertebrates
We're feeling safe and we're feeling happy
No one can touch us here, we're all on our own
The streetlight's shining in the rain outside here
The floors are wooden and the walls made of stone
We don't like the looks of our neighbour's grubby washing
We don't like the screams of our neighbour's grubby child
Nobody's perfect - except for us, of course
Our hands are clean and our minds are sterile
The lives we lead are pure without exemption
Our upper lips stiff but our backs without a spine
We close our eyes to the things we can't face up to
No need for vision in the land of the blind
The knives in our pockets are long and well-sharpened
We stick them into people that we don't even know
It's not that we're looking for a violent confrontation
But unconventionality we just won't allow

John's Vacuum Cleaner
John spent his time in hotel rooms
In countless dreary towns
Living a travelling salesman's life
Doing travelling salesman's rounds
He was married to Jill - a very nice girl -
And faithful through and through
They were planning for a family
And he had a payrise due
But when Jill left with John's best friend
He couldn't accept the fact
He cleaned the house night and day
Just waiting for her to come back
He bought a vacuum cleaner
From the man that lived next door
And spent his nights tidying the rooms
And vacuuming the floor
John's vacuum cleaner
Was his only friend
John's vacuum cleaner
His companion to the end
John told of his troubles
As he cleaned up tirelessly
And John's vacuum cleaner
Hummed in sympathy
The videophone it didn't work
It got broken in a fight
He tried to fix it once himself
But he couldn't put it right
The washing machine and the freezer too
Had something wrong with them
And only the vacuum cleaner
Presented no problem
John's vacuum cleaner
Was his only friend
John's vacuum cleaner
His companion to the end
John told of his troubles
As he cleaned up tirelessly
And John's vacuum cleaner
Hummed in sympathy
John was found dead in his car
He didn't have much of a life
Lost his job, lost his cash
Deserted by his wife
He turned the key, he choked to death
On carbon monoxide
The milkman found his body
The papers called it suicide
And when the police searched his house
They found it bright and clean
With nothing to suggest that his mental state
Was not what it should have been
But in the cupboard under the stairs
Leaning against the wall
They found a vacuum cleaner
That did not work at all

Laburnum Walk
We're blues musicians of the Humber delta
If we play in tune it's just by chance
Just by chance
We're sincere young men from the cities and the towns
The first chance we get to play could easily be the last
Could be the last
Sincere
Sincerely making a noise
We come not to make music but to laugh at it
If we do it right, I won't be very pleased
If we do it right, I won't be very pleased
Repetition, repetition, self-indulgence is the answer
If we don't do what we want, you know we're selling out
If we dare to play in tune we must be selling out
If we use a chorus it means we've sold out
If we make a record it means we must be selling out
If we try and buy some food, we must have sold out
Free musicians do not need to eat
We walk from gig to gig and we live on fresh air
We never break strings and our gear never breaks down
We're blues musicians of the Humber delta,
And if we play a tune we must have sold out
If we play in tune, it's just by chance
It's the first chance we've had to play for many years
I'm sure it will be the last

Milton Keynes
You can sell your house
You can sell your car
Paint your nails
Do something bizarre
You can sell your hopes
You can sell your dreams
We'll all end up living
In Milton Keynes
You can fiddle your tax
Or expand your head
Go out jogging
Or spend the day in bed
Nothing has changed
All is what it seems
Everyone's living
In Milton Keynes
Invite your friends round
On a Sunday afternoon
Go to Scarborough
For your honeymoon
Doesn't matter where you're going
Doesn't matter where you've been
You always end up
In Milton Keynes
You can go down to the pub
Or play happy families
Let your dog pee
On the municipal trees
You're a good citizen
And you care about hygiene
That's why you're living
In Milton Keynes
You're living in a shoebox
Made of brick and wood
Your front lawn
Is a sea of mud
Well, you can make your plans
And plot and scheme
But nobody escapes
From Milton Keynes
Look out of your window
All the houses are the same
Don't worry 'bout it
No one is to blame
Everything is antiseptic
Everything is squeaky-clean
Being different's not allowed
In Milton Keynes
When you're lying in your bed
And it's dark outside
You can hear the voices
Of would-be suicides
Everybody's shouting
Everybody screams,
"Why did we move
To Milton Keynes?"

New Muzak
Futurist thoughts
In electro-brains
Flash through subways
Down grey steel lanes
Landscape gardens
And concrete graves
Dead plastic seas
With auto-waves
Vibrant echoes
Timeless beating
Machine control
Fission heating
Sterile voices
In robot zones
Close their minds
With force-fed clones
New muzak
New muzak
New muzak
Turn it off!

Nice Job For The Lad
Jimmy left school at sixteen
He wanted to learn a trade
The teachers said that he was bright
And they thought he should have stayed
But when he joined the RAF
His parents didn't feel bad
And everyone agreed it was a
Nice job for the lad
Nice job for the lad

Then one day the tanks came
And Jimmy was marching along
People were cheering and waving flags
And singing patriotic songs
And all of the girls kissed the boys goodbye
And a hundred brass bands played
And the sun shone down and everyone thought it was a
Nice day for a parade
Nice day for a parade

There's a humming in the distance
From the bombers coming back
They've been flying all night
Through the rain and the flak
But little Jimmy's bomber
Won't come back any more
Cos the generals thought it was a
Nice day for a war
Nice day for a war

They were standing at the graveside
Staring at their shoes
Nobody knowing
What to say or do
They were all dressed in black
Surrounded by the dead
"Nice day for a funeral"
Somebody said

No Identifiable Sign Of Life
No identifiable sign of life
No identifiable sign of life
No identifiable sign of life
She slipped away
Beneath the surgeon's knife
She does not speak, she does not breathe
Her husband sobs, she does not heed
She's got a bed someone else needs
She's costing us too much to feed
Brainwaves zero, fading pulse
Brainwaves zero, fading pulse
What's left of her isn't worth the fuss
Brainwaves zero, fading pulse
Children gather round her bed
Memories float through their heads
Car crash victim, plenty said
Is or is not my mummy dead?
No identifiable sign of life
No identifiable sign of life
She slipped away
Beneath the surgeon's knife
Now there's no identifiable sign of life
Children gather round her bed
Memories float through their heads
Car crash victim, plenty said
Is or is not my mummy dead?

People Laugh At Me (Coz I Like Weird Music)
I was in a pub the other night
When a bunch of mods came in
They eyed me up then they came over
And said, "Hey, what's your scene?
Are you a hippy, a mod or a punk?
Got a scooter or a motorbike?"
I can't understand why they burst out laughing
When I told them the music I like
People laugh at me coz I like weird music
People just don't understand
Why pay £6 for an album when you can
Listen to a weird noise band?

I had a girlfriend called Josephine,
She liked Abba and The Bee Gees
She thought music was about lawyers and accountants
Percentages and legal fees
Just the other night we stayed up late
Playing records till half past ten
Then I played a Danny & The Dressmakers tape
And I never saw Josephine again
People laugh at me coz I like weird music
People just don't understand
Why pay £6 for an album when you can
Listen to a weird noise band?
(For free!)
Listen to a weird noise band (repeat ad nauseum)

Scared To Be Alone
I'm scared to be alone at night
I'm scared to be alone in the dark
I'm scared to be alone
I'm scared to be alone
I can hear people talking
In the next room
And I know they're talking about me
Yes, I know they're talking about me
And I'm scared to be alone at night etc.
I can hear someone walking
Walking up the stairs
And I know they're coming for me
Yes, I know they're coming for me
And I'm scared to be alone at night etc.
I can see someone looking
Looking in my window
And I know they're looking at me
Yes, I know they're looking at me
And I'm scared to be alone at night etc.

Short Haired Man (In A Long Haired Town)
I was riding on a bus, all the people were staring at me
I was riding on a bus, all the people were staring at me
I said, "Conductor, conductor,
Won't you tell these people to let me be?"
Up comes the conductor, he's got a peaked cap on his head
Up comes the conductor, he's got a peaked cap on his head
He pointed his finger at me
And this is what he said:
"You're a short haired man
This is a long haired town
You're a short haired man
This is a long haired town
And until you let your hair grow
Everybody's gonna push you round"

I went to the local college to study for a degree
I went to the local college to study for a degree
The college professor,
He said, "We got no vacancies"
Coz you're a short haired man etc.
I went in the local boozer to get myself a beer
I went in the local boozer to get myself a beer
The barman wouldn't serve me
He said, "You're not welcome here"
Coz you're a short haired man etc.

People always try to change you, don't ask me the reason why
People always try to change you, don't ask me the reason why
But I'll be a short haired man
Till the day I die
I'm a short haired man
This is a long haired town
I'm a short haired man
This is a long haired town
So I guess until I let my hair grow
Everybody's gonna push me round
But I don't care

So It's Come To This
I need some answers to my questions
I need absolution from my sins
Trapped in a world so cold and brutal
Where everyone fights but no one wins
Babies are crying - can't you hear them?
People are starving -don't you know?
What does it take to make you help them?
Closing your eyes won't make them go
Now that I'm facing our past failures
I feel guilty and I feel scared
And when we reach out to each other
It's not in love but in despair
So I walk down this road
With the sun in my eyes
And I still feel the pain
Of your cheating and lies
Now it's come to this
Now my memory fails
And my senses recoil
And everything's changed
And everything's spoiled
Now it's come to this
Now it's out of control
Like a building in flames
And there's no one to hate
And there's no one to blame
Now it's come to this

Time Is Tight
I don't wanna go down to the beach
To see the tide going out
I don't wanna go into the city
To see people getting shot
I don't wanna go to the railway station
To get on a Southbound train
I don't wanna go to the hospital
To buy myself a new brain
Cos time is tight
Time is tight
Gotta make sure I use my time right
I don't wanna go down the backstreets
To hide in the dustbins down there
I don't wanna go to the chemist's shop
To get another shot of fear
I don't wanna go to the dancehall
To see a band that won't turn up
I don't wanna go to the tea shop
To see faces in my cup
Cos time is tight etc.
I don't wanna go to the studio
To play my guitar loud
I don't wanna go to the market place
And be another face in the crowd
I don't wanna go to a restaurant
To buy myself a plate of beans
I don't wanna go to university
To find out what life means
Cos time is tight etc.
I don't wanna go to the telephone box
To call up someone I don't know
I don't wanna go to the concert hall
And let someone pogo on my toe
I don't wanna go to the post office
To waste money on a first class stamp
I don't wanna go to the countryside
Where the woods are cold and damp
Cos time is tight etc.
I don't wanna go out riding in my car
In case I crash into a wall
In fact I don't wanna get out of bed
And face the day at all

Vacant Possession
Watching television with the sound turned down
The room's too hot - my head's going round
I opened my eyes but the nightmare didn't go
The nightmare was real, it was a part of the show
Ritual violence in locker-rooms
CIA plots set to popular tunes
Images collide in a troubled mind
Mass murder on your doorstep, cheap Venetian blinds
Have another lager if you're feeling dry
As space-age heroes blow each other out of the sky
Breakfast television is here to stay
Blood on your cornflakes at the start of the day
Here's a novelty if you're feeling tough -
A television set that you can't turn off

Violence
I was sitting on the front porch
I was waiting for the rain I knew would come
Another day, another year
And yet another wasted Sunday afternoon
I saw you walking down the road
With some flowers for a grave that could be mine
I should have stopped and said hello
Or something, but I have so little time
Our talk is small in grocery stores
Our sighs are deep in libraries and basements
Our nights are long, our minds are filled
With wondering if there will be more violence
I could write a book - a million words
But no one wants to read books anymore
So just fill your glass and turn your back
And make your way across the dancing floor
Your crossword puzzle mind is blank
And I cannot supply you with the clues
And the point at which you start to win
Could be the place where I begin to lose
So take off your silver spangled satin ballgown
And learn to be my friend
But if that is too difficult
Then I suppose that we could just pretend

When The Pubs Close (words: Garry Bailey, music: the Automatons)
When the pubs close and I've gotta go home
Maybe my alter ego'll leave me alone
Does a stranger spell danger?
Why must this be so?
Feed him wrong information
How can he possibly know?
Am I dicing with death
Or forcing it upon myself?
Tension creates pressure
Why not write me a letter?
I've been waiting oh so long
Just to sing to you this song
But I can't define
The narrow line
That separates right from wrong
It's a harrowing thought
That in a trap I'm caught
But you say I should have known all along
When the pubs close and I've gotta go home
I need to speak to you on the telephone
I go in the box and I put in the coin
But all that I get is the engaged sign
Who are you speaking to?
It obviously isn't me
I've never felt like this before
Could this be jealousy?
But I can't define
The narrow line
That separates you from me
It's a harrowing thought
That in a trap I'm caught
But you say it's just my destiny
Deceit is never one-sided
At least that's what we are told
But you're never there and I'm always here
Now whose lie are we being sold?
Now whose lie are we being sold, my friend?
Now whose lie are we being sold?


Worcester Avenue
I took a walk down Worcester Avenue
I hoped that I might catch a glimpse of you
But you moved away when you got married
Said the area just wasn't up to standard
I was staring out the window one Sunday afternoon
Looking at the rooftops of the town
I thought I saw the ghost of Jimmy Porter
But the Angry Young Men have long since calmed down
These things have come to pass
These things are true
These things have come to pass
I saw a vision down Worcester Avenue

I was strolling through the cloisters of a well known supermarket
Caught between the baked beans and the naked greed
I thought I heard the voice of Timmy Leary
But the flowers of the sixties have long since gone to seed
You can talk till you're blue in the face - no one listens
Nobody's interested in what went wrong
Everybody's too busy dancing to the music
No one wants to hear the words of the song
These things have come to pass
These things are true
These things have come to pass
I saw a vision down Worcester Avenue
(Would I lie to you?)